It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
