Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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