its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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