Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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