i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
