I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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