I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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