Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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