I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
