I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
