I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is her dick bigger than yours?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
