her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
