Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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