ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize