He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
