just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
