sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize