Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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