I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
