i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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