Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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