it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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