Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
