I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
