Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
