I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize