He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
