I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
