my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
