sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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