on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize