Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
