Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
