Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My feet surprised me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
