im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
