i just sent this text using only my big toe
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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