Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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