My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
