i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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