we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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