I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
