Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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