is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
