i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
