so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
