p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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