you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
