hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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