My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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