oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
