8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
