ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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