forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
