have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
