Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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