Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize