we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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