Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
