nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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