thus making me awesome and them whores
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
