All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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