let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
