Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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