my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
