call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
