Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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