I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
