I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
